January 2011
47 posts
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Total paid: $3,182.
An alarmingly high percentage of this sum is my “student services levy” which, having increased by 500% (I kid you not) over the past couple of years, is now over $600. We all have to subsidise the illiterate students, and the ones who forgot to use a condom.
Fuck, the world is stupid
Today someone graduated with a masters degree in The Beatles. For reference, she teaches pop music in Canada.
Also, Contador was given a one year ban today. Apparently the cycling community has decided that he did take drugs, but not enough to strip him of his TDF title. And then commentators get on the radio and say cycling has a zero - tolerance drug policy. Bullshit.
Sometimes I ask myself why people are looking at...
Please note: Admission eligibility is based solely...
Yeah right. I know for a fact that they require me to have at least enough money to head home after a year. Fair enough too, god knows they don’t need any more lawyers over there.
Why is the world so big?
Currently filling out application forms for an unnamed american university. Holy shit, they’ve really spelled “cheque” as “check”?
Wow, America is like a 12-year-old version of me. I think I’m going to like it there.
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An idea of fun
I suppose I should find it amusing that weekends often degenerate into a drink-more-wine, cook-more-food festival of loneliness.
Of course, loneliness is only ever achieved inside my head. Why doesn’t anyone realise that I’d much rather stay here where I can be in control of my life than out pretending to enjoy the company of people I barely know.
I think I’ve given up on...
Why is it that in TV crimes shows, the guy they arrest first, whose fingerprints are all over the place and has been sending the victim threatening emails, is never the killer? Why does it always have to be the half-sister or something?
I watch these shows to switch my brain off, not because I like the plot twists. Just once I wish they could catch the guy in the first 20 minutes and then go to...
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You start at the beginning of a long and arduous...
After spending most of my summer so far struggling my way through ADoM (ULE, and several failed Ironman attempts) and playing Rogue on my ipod, you’d think I’d need a break.
Unfortunately, because of my love for Roguelikes and all things ASCII, I have stumbled across something called Dwarf Fortress. It hurts my brain in so many wonderful ways.
Oh god, what have I gotten myself into?
Phil McKraken
Today, to my annoyance, we discussed baby names. I am still sticking to my theory that the attachment we display to our names is indicative of the commercialised label culture we live in, and is an inherently flawed way to view you personality. But whatever.
Anyway, I realised that pretty much the only thing I want in a wife is someone who will grant me exclusive naming rights to our firstborn...
Usually I don’t start drinking ‘til Thursday, but the first two days of this week have been so awful that I think I may have to open a bottle of shiraz tonight.
Sierra Sierra, Sierra Sierra, Sierra Sierra, Leone
“Well, all in all that was a poor effort by the streaker. He really should have...”
– Radio cricket commentary is exciting
It's not the drinking, it's how we're drinking?
I hear a lot in the media about NZ being a nation of alcoholics. Mostly I figure this is probably caused by our well-documented ‘international small-man syndrome’ - basically we are desperate to be on the top of any list, even if it’s something like heaviest drinkers or most endemic bird extinctions, and so we purposefully inflate the theory that we drink more than other nations....
Sometimes in weak moments all I want is someone to force me to read Harry Potter so I can feel all the feelings that everyone else in the world seems to feel.
ICTS
Currently perusing the UC website, trying to figure out how the hell I’m going to submit online assignments now that I’m lacking Microsoft Office. It’s not looking good.
I love how backwards uni is - they recommend (and still use on the staff computers) Windows 2000, and want everyone to use old editions of IE and Office.
Also, UC is apparently ready for the University of...
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Why I am not Mr. Universe
Reasons 3, 4, and 5.
I have a thing about blood. And internal organs in general. I’m not going to faint if I get a papercut, but I just don’t like being reminded that I’m trapped inside a fragile shell of slowly decaying meat that does all these strange things that I can’t control and it could stop doing those things at any moment and kill me.
Similarly, I don’t...
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu
One of my backup discs has died, resulting in the loss of a sizeable chunk of my music collection.
Most of it I can replace, as I have the original CDs, but there is a lot that is gone forever - The Social Network score, SML’s Is That It?, Shihad’s Early Demos, The Beastie’s Paul’s Boutique, NIN’s Ghosts
Life = over
Geographically impaired
Today I saw a map of the world, and was genuinely confused. My room is plastered with NatGeo maps from the early ’80s, so I am permanently stuck with a geopolitical view of the world that is horribly outdated.
I hope I never end up going to Europe. What is this Czech Republic you speak of?
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I wish I knew what I was doing
“Issue 2: Is the child at crave risk?”
– I’m not sure why I find Judge’s typos to be extra funny.
Uh, I think someone put a sleeping pill in my...
“Rock’s biggest-selling tune in 2010 was Journey’s Don’t Stop...”
– The Guardian.
The end of the world is near.
Too sexy for my shirt?
I remember that back in the day I used to actually dress up for work. I guess my Father’s “take pride in your appearance” speeches worked. But not any more.
Currently I am unshaven, and sporting odd socks, $3 shoes and an old t-shirt advertising a comic book store.
Considering that all the people I deal with are wearing suits etc, I feel a little weird. But screw it, I come to...
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The thing I like the most about you is that I...
So... what happened to the droughts?
I hate that the big RNG in the sky delights in tormenting people.
I hate how in times of natural disasters all I can bring myself to do is mutter “man, that sucks”.
I hate that my cousin has had to evacuate the house that she and her boyfriend just bought.
I love watching newsreaders try to say Australian place names with a straight face. I have this theory that back in the day,...
Apparently I have become one of those people who comes home from work, and does a quick calculation of how much they earned minus tax so they know exactly how much they can spend in online music stores that day.
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Just fixed the shower door, now off to man the bbq
Propective wives, please form an orderly line.
Well, another chapter in the history of great NZ...
On the bright side, everyone’s favourite batsmen, Chris “Out Now” Martin, brought up 100 career runs, in a blistering 60 matches. Legend.
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WatchRegional Dialect Meme Watching this back, I think maybe I should learn to speak properly.
Say these words:
Aunt, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup, Pajamas, Caught
Now answer these questions:
What is it called when you throw toilet...
Oh, I've forgotten how to swallow.
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Steps to happiness
Holiday in central Otago
Spend much time treking through the desert in order to pick wild apricots
Return home
Cook Turkish chicken with said apricots
Open expensive pinot noir
Eat alone in front of computer
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A social interaction
Today, for the very first time in my life, I pretended to be gay.
Apparently, if a straight male walks up to a girl with a genuine interest in the jacket she is wearing (which was extensively modified and super cool), her friends will immediately assume you are hitting on her. So I said I was gay.
I escaped before my deception was uncovered, but I still got the feeling that they didn’t...